Our client today was Judy, who needed help cleaning out her mother’s condo. Trapped by feeling of fear, quilt, memories and pain, Judy waited 3 years before deciding what to do with her mother’s things. Her mother died unexpectedly and the thought of getting rid of all of her personal belongings overwhelmed Judy. This was not a hoarder house, far from it. It was a nice condo with all of her furnishing, clothing, jewelry, towels, and even dishes in the dishwasher.
For 3 years Judy has been thinking about what to do. She tells me on the way inside, her mom would be so disappointed to know she was giving her things away. All those things her mom loved, the knick knacks, the ceramics and the quilts were going to have to be taken somewhere. Judy had finally accepted it was time to move on. Her family took what they wanted but had no room or desire to take everything remaining.
I can feel her anxiety and nervousness. I reassure her and tell her it is not about the “things”. I tell her she should not feel guilty about moving on. It is okay to let them go. It is about your relationships, your memories, and the legacy. And it’s about freeing yourself to move forward.
I am reminded of the saying “if you love it, let it go”. I know, it is not easy to let it go. It may hurt like hell for a period of time. You may have a hole in your heart. Certain thoughts may cause emotions to come crashing in a like a wave. But in time the pain will subside. With a smile on your face, you can treasure every memory, think of all of the good times. Realize everything you have learned and everything along the way that has helped you become who you are. Look at your future with a new perspective. A love that strong doesn’t go away. A love that strong remains, perhaps forever.